Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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