I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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