is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
