awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Randomize
