so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize