did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Randomize
