At least make sure they are 18
Why
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
