God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Boobs speak an international language.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
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