at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Randomize
