Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Randomize
