He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Enjoy the penises
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
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