youre lurking in front of me
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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