the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
