is your mom at the bar?
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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