five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Randomize
