One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
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