If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
