He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Randomize
