I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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