I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
