He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
