I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
