woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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