kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
