Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
