peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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