How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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