Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Randomize
