This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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