I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I feel like death gave me a hand job
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
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