Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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