Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize
