i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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