im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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