we have officially lost it.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
