It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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