Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
