when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
is wine microwaveable?
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
