Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
