I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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