I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
