They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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