yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
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