what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
They have beer where we have blood.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
