Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
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