Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
