Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize