there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
