So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
