if only i could text you this smell
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I love you.
Bad choice
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