I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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