you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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