When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
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