If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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