you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
