So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
