also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
