i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
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