i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
