ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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