Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
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Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
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You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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