i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Randomize
