Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
It's official drugs can't kill me
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Randomize
