I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Found your dick twin last night
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
