Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
