It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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