Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Randomize
