what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
