6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Let's get the cat blown out
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
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