I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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